people say theres a first time for everything,

but there's one problem,

i don't think i'll ever experiance that first time INlove,

cause being inlove means your in the state of loving them,

this isn't nessasarily going to last forever,

but for the moment you love them unconditionally.
and loving someone means well you love them completely,

through everything you've been through,

and you must have gone through alot.

i'd rather go through loving someone,

because it's for life.

but anywyas,

the truth is we are just a bunch of kids,

just trying to figure out what love really is.

hold me close, while we forget about the past

seriously forget about her,
she hurt you so bad,
you may of loved her,
but the pain she caused you,
made you want to die,


please open your eyes and realize that,
i'm here for you,
i think your special,
i'd never hurt you,


but mabye you dont beleive me,
since you've heard it before,
and got your heart broken,
and i know your scared,
i'm scared to,
but i want you to know,
that i may break promises,
but im not a liar.



we see the good in eachother,
so what are you waiting for,
hold me, kiss me, tease me.
i don't care, i'd rather you like someone that makes you happy,
instead of loving someone, who makes you hate yourself.

♥

well everyone says love hurts,

but that isn't true,

loneliness hurts,

rejection hurts,

losing someone hurts,

envy hurts,

everyone gets these things confused with love,

but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain

and makes someone feel wonderful again,

love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

boy, your amazing.

you know the saying "I'm in like with you".

well that's exactly how i feel at this very moment,

i miss you even if your twenty seconds away.

i always want to be with you, cause whenever I'm with you all i want to do is smile.

it's like sparks fly.

no booty call from me.

dear boyfriend,



go out with her, you know you want to,

admit you like her.

cause your in luck,

well she likes you to.

how could you kiss her, when we were dating?

i doubt you even like me.

just fucking admit it.

i liked you alot, but its slowly drifting away.

im not gonna wait to hear the word " its over".

love love love.

it's extremely hard to express how i feel about love,

cause one, i have no clue what it is,

yeah sad, mabye,

mabye, i'm just to young, cause i need to see it to beleive it.

and two, it's never happened to me since i don't know what it is.

i hate how people say there in love and it will last, and a month later,

there crying there broken heart out,

i'll be honest, i have cryed over a guy before,

sometimes i can be such a hypocrite and say boys are stupid, no need to cry.

but i do cry, and it actually helps alot.

and i'm never going to get into a serious relationship until i'm ready,

cause i honeslty don't wanna end up like the rest.

do your words depart from the truth?

thanks for bring me to those skateparks,
thanks for holding my hand,
thanks for treating me well,
thanks for telling me you love me,
but did you mean any of those things or was it for your middle school rep?

thank you for nothing.

i seriously wonder where my dad is,

mom says hes dead, somtimes thinking of what he did to me, i hope he is.

but i kinda wanna know what my life could've been with him.

mabye terrible, or really good? , who knows, and i probley wont find out.

but i've been taking night's to find where you could be.

if you ever come across this, i doubt you would.

but if you do, i hope you know i'm really curious about a couple of things =

one - why did you leave me?

two - was my mom not good enough?

three - was hearing the words " i am pregnant" scare you?

,yeah i'm afraid i was an accident,

but i'm actually happy about that.

but you couldv'e atleast stayed there and supported us.

but you didn't and look now what my mom found me,

an actual father.

thank you for nothing.

:).

I had so many butterflies in my stomach that night,

when i told you how i felt about you,

and luckily, you felt the same.

go die in a hole.

i fucking hate you.

we were never "somthing" special.
you are the nicest person , but your so fucking stupid.

go to fucking school , and learn how how to treat a actal human being.
i dump you and you get your brother to threatin me with his weak words.
if you think your so strong then you would be able to take the words of "it's over"
instead you think death is the solution.
but your wrong , this is also were stupid comes in.
you are negative and i am positive , they dont attract.
and thats honestly what i think when i think of you and me.

i know there's other fish in the sea, but there not for me.

i get a boyfriend isn't a priorty ,

i've been told that so many times from my friends.
but i like him , what can i say?
when somebody likes someone ,

you shouldn't care what anybody thinks.
so i've decided to let that go and be care free.
cause mabye this will be a good realtionship,
since i haven't been in a realtionship in a while.
it will be a good experience, hopfully.
its not like i'm wanting anything serious

but i already told you i felt stupid for dumping you ,
but right now i'm waiting for your call.

cause i want us to talk about us.
i didn't feel right about you in the start.
but i should have gotten to know you better.

but i know you are thinking about giving me a second chance.
an i thank you for that.

yes , im wondering if were mean't to be.

i like you , and you know it.
i just expected somthing back , atleast a yes or a no.
but i get nothing?
mabye it's to early?
or mabye you dont want to hurt me?
but if you ever come across this,
i want you to know i've been hurt so many times before.
if you just be honest i will appreiciate it.
if you care about me , you will tell me.
and if you like me back , i would be so happy.
and if you dont i wont look at you any diffrent.

cause honesty would win me over more then your smile.

your not sorry , no more.

True friends are REALLY hard to find , well mostly for me.

it's easy for some people, but i guess I'm different.



well , i do have allot of friends , but few ones i can trust.
i always thought i could trust one person with everything that comes to mind.

and that would be a best friend, ... i was wrong.
I'd prefer not to say her name but, we met when we where in grade 4.
i thought we were the best of friends, we would hang out like everyday after school.

we would talk on the phone about hot guys till like 4 in the morning , silly i know.

but i thought best friends would do stupid things together cause well , there best friends!
then middle school hit ,

and the most stupid things would happen.

we would start fighting about the most stupidest reasons.
and she would prefer popularity over me.
and that day came when i couldn't have her as a friend anymore.

she would say she hated me and didn't want to hang out with a loser like me.

well she made a bad choice , instead of having one BEST friend , she chose a bunch of girls who are labeled "POPULAR" , and they didn't even like her, i would here them in the change room calling her a "slut" , or a "whore".
i though to myself, i bet if she knew that they were doing that to her.
she would run back to me.
like she always does , after a fight.
she didn't she just hung out with people that weren't her friends.
while i was hanging out with people , that ACTUALLY wanted friendship with me.

now i cant help thinking , what's the point of a best friend?
this girl should know, that if she wants whats good for herself.

she'll look back and think why did i do that to Emily?

she probably wont but, one day i hope she realizes what she had done.

just sit back, and tell me i'm a liar for this.

I really don't know what to say..
k, well i like a new guy obviously.
when don't i like someone?
i have like a new guy every week.
ugh , why do boys have to be so stupid?

like that last guy , he tells me he likes me and what does he do? ,

lie , of course.
why wasn't i expecting it?

he didn't treat me like he liked me ,
he used me for his own humour.
so i just went with it , of course.
i was crushed for like a week cause of him.
my friends warned me , but i didn't listen.

i wasnt in love with him but i think he shouldn't of lied to me like that , it hurt me cause i liked him alot.

I'm sure I've learned my lesson, not to trust boys with my heart anymore.
unless I'm actually in love.
and hopfully the next guy will be a good one(: